Author: Dr Wingnut

Administrative MemoTo all Employees: The beatings will continue until morale improves.Dakota tribal wisdom says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount. However, in business we often try other strategies with dead horses, including the following:Buying a stronger whip.Changing riders.Say things like, "This is the way we…

Include Your Children When Baking CookiesSomething Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert SaysPolice Begin Campaign To Run Down JaywalkersSafety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be BeltedDrunk Gets Nine Months In Violin CaseSurvivor Of Siamese Twins Joins ParentsIraqi Head Seeks ArmsProstitutes Appeal To PopePanda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes OverBritish Left Waffles On Falkland IslandsLung Cancer…

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She…

These Franciscan friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds.Since everyone liked to buy flowers from men of God, the rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair.  He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not.  He went back and…

A lawyer and a blonde woman are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde is tired and just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over…

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill today because they pissed me off.And also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today as they…

An elderly man lay dying in his bed. In death's agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed.Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort forced…