Dr Wingnut

Author: Dr Wingnut

  • Can't always trust them

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    Dr Wingnut
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    A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road, when all of a sudden, the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field. The old farmer, after seeing what happened, went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a hole and bury the politicians.A few…

  • Check your computer for the following viruses

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Lewinsky virus: Sucks all the memory out of your computer then e-mails everyone about what it did.Mike Tyson virus: Quits after one byte.Oprah Winfrey virus: Your 300MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100MB and then slowly expands to 200MB.Dr. Jack Kevorkian virus: Deletes all old files.Ellen Degeneres virus: You can no longer insert disks into…

  • Christmas Needy

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Dear Friend:With the Christmas season approaching, please look into your heart to help those in need. Hundreds of National Basketball Association basketball players in our very own country are living at or just below the seven-figure salary level (Atrocious!)And, as if that weren't bad enough, they will be deprived of pay for several weeks—possibly a…

  • Calling Room Service

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    Dr Wingnut
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    The transcript to a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a hotel in Asia. It was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review:Room Service: "Morny.  Ruin sorbees."Hotel Guest: "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."Room Service: "Rye…Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to oder sunteen??"Hotel Guest: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs."Room Service: "Ow…

  • Buying gifts for Men (or No one knows why)

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    Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is for women.Follow these rules and you should have no problems.Rule #1: When in doubt – buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain.  As…

  • The Boston Accent

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    Pete SirMost say pizzaAaahchA tourist attraction in St. LouisCottonYou buy milk in itSeen YaLast year of schoolHollyAn excellent motorcycleBudded ConCorn on the cob with butterBaahnnieA famous purple dinosaurAhLetter between q and sLodgeOpposite of smallBah RumBar roomWicked BoahA not-so-interesting personSouthieSomeone from South BostonBah BahHe cuts your hairBub BluhWater fountainAwedOpposite of evenKhakisStart your car with themPita is…

  • Box Under Bed

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    Dr Wingnut
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    A man and a women were married for 40 years.  When they first got married the man said "I am putting a box under the bed. You must promise never to look in it".In all their 40 years of marriage the woman never looked.  However on the afternoon of their 40th anniversary curiosity got the…