Author: Dr Wingnut
-
Computer Jargon!
When I went to college in the 1980's, I heard a lot of words like "data input" and "beta version." They confused me. I wanted desperately to know what people were talking about, what Big Secret resided in the computer industry.Now that I've worked in a computer company for the last few years, I've gained…
-
College Letter
Dear Mom and Dad:It has been four months since I left for college. I have been remiss in writing and am very sorry for my thoughtlessness. I will bring you up to date now, but before you read on, please sit down. Don't read any further unless you are sitting down … OK?Good. I am…
-
Clinton joke
Last week there was a very important meeting between God, Moses, and the Pope. They were troubled because of the way President Clinton was behaving. They decided that the only course of action was to create an 11th Commandment to get their message across.The problem was how to word it so it matched the other…
-
College Entrance Exam
University of IllinoisEntrance examFootball player versionTime limit: 3 weeksWhat language is spoken in France?Give a dissertation on the Ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions – or – give the first name of Pierre Tudeau.Would you ask William Shakespeare to:Build a bridgeSail the oceanLead an armyWrite a playWhat religion…
-
Church bloopers
Ushers will eat newcomers.During the absence of our pastor, we enjoy the rare priviledge of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.The chior will meet at the Larsen house for fun ans sinning.Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It is a good…
-
Can't always trust them
A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road, when all of a sudden, the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field. The old farmer, after seeing what happened, went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a hole and bury the politicians.A few…
-
Check your computer for the following viruses
Lewinsky virus: Sucks all the memory out of your computer then e-mails everyone about what it did.Mike Tyson virus: Quits after one byte.Oprah Winfrey virus: Your 300MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100MB and then slowly expands to 200MB.Dr. Jack Kevorkian virus: Deletes all old files.Ellen Degeneres virus: You can no longer insert disks into…