Author: Dr Wingnut

Before criticizing people, walk a mile in their shoes.  Then when you do criticize them, you will be a mile away and have their shoes.If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let go, because, man, they're gone.If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We…

The Darwin Awards are annually bestowed upon (the remains of) individuals who have given their all in an effort to improve our gene pool.  The Darwin Awards applaud those who have made the ultimate sacrifice of killing themselves by the most extraordinarily stupid means.The Awards commemorate those who find innovatively moronic ways of killing themselves,…

The judge asked the defendant to please stand. "You are charged with murdering a school teacher with a chain saw."From out in the gallery, a man shouts, "Lying bastard!""Silence in the court!" the Judge says to the man who shouted.  He turns to be defendant and says, "you are also charged with killing a paperboy…

Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The BedGet Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Good-byeI Can't Get Over You, So Why Don't You Get Under Me?I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go BowlingI Got In At 2 With A 10 And Woke Up At 10 With…

There once was a czar in Russia whose name was Rudolph the Great. He was standing in his house one day with his wife. He looked out the window and saw something happening.  He says to his wife,"Look honey. Its raining."She, being the obstinate type, responded,"I don't think so, dear. I think it's snowing." But…

PLEASE HELPWith contract terminations in the contract market around the globe looming due to the increasing fall in economic conditions, now is the time for us to show the world just how much we care. It's just not right.Hundreds of consultants in your very own country are living at or just below the six-figure income…

by Kevin ButlerDescribe your problem:__________________________________________Now, describe the problem accurately:__________________________________________Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem:____________________________________________________________________________________Problem Severity:Minor __Minor __Minor __Trivial __Nature of the problem:Locked Up __Frozen __Hung __Strange Smell __Is your computer plugged in?Yes __No __Is it turned on?Yes __No __Have you tried to fix it yourself?Yes __No __Have you made it worse?Yes __Have you…