Dr Wingnut

Author: Dr Wingnut

  • Dagwood on trial

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    The judge asked the defendant to please stand. "You are charged with murdering a school teacher with a chain saw."From out in the gallery, a man shouts, "Lying bastard!""Silence in the court!" the Judge says to the man who shouted.  He turns to be defendant and says, "you are also charged with killing a paperboy…

  • Country/Western song titles (all are actual titles)

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The BedGet Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Good-byeI Can't Get Over You, So Why Don't You Get Under Me?I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go BowlingI Got In At 2 With A 10 And Woke Up At 10 With…

  • Czar

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    There once was a czar in Russia whose name was Rudolph the Great. He was standing in his house one day with his wife. He looked out the window and saw something happening.  He says to his wife,"Look honey. Its raining."She, being the obstinate type, responded,"I don't think so, dear. I think it's snowing." But…

  • Consultant? Poor thing

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    Dr Wingnut
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    PLEASE HELPWith contract terminations in the contract market around the globe looming due to the increasing fall in economic conditions, now is the time for us to show the world just how much we care. It's just not right.Hundreds of consultants in your very own country are living at or just below the six-figure income…

  • COMPUTER PROBLEM REPORT FORM

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    Dr Wingnut
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    by Kevin ButlerDescribe your problem:__________________________________________Now, describe the problem accurately:__________________________________________Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem:____________________________________________________________________________________Problem Severity:Minor __Minor __Minor __Trivial __Nature of the problem:Locked Up __Frozen __Hung __Strange Smell __Is your computer plugged in?Yes __No __Is it turned on?Yes __No __Have you tried to fix it yourself?Yes __No __Have you made it worse?Yes __Have you…

  • Computing Definitions

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    Dr Wingnut
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    AlphaSoftware undergoes alpha testing as a first step in getting user feedback.  Alpha is Latin for "doesn't work."BetaSoftware undergoes beta testing shortly before it's released. Beta is Latin for "still doesn't work."ComputerInstrument of torture.  The first computer was invented by Roger "Duffy" Billingsly, a British scientist.  In a plot to overthrow Adolf Hitler, Duffy disguised…

  • CONGRESS PASSES AMERICANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT

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    Dr Wingnut
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    WASHINGTON, DC-On Tuesday, Congress approved the Americans With No Abilities Act, sweeping new legislation that provides benefits and protection for more than 135 million talentless Americans.The act, signed into law by President Clinton shortly after its passage, is being hailed as a major victory for the millions upon millions of U.S. citizens who lack any…