Author: Dr Wingnut

The language folks who brought us "Ebonics," have decided to pursue some of the seemingly endless taxpayer pipeline through Washington by designating Southern slang, or "Hickphonics," as a language to be taught in all Southern schools. A speaker of this language would be a Hickophone. Th e following are excerpts from the Hickphonics/English dictionary:HEIDINoun.  Greeting.HIRE…

God would like to thank you for your belief and patronage. In order to better serve your needs, He asks that you take a few moments to answer the following questions.Please keep in mind that your responses will be kept completely confidential, and that you need not disclose your name or address unless you prefer…

Let's meet at my house Sunday before the game.GodC'mon over and bring the kids.GodWhat part of "Thou Shalt Not…" didn't you understand?GodWe need to talk.GodKeep using my name in vain, I'll make rush hour longer.GodLoved the wedding, invite me to the marriage.GodThat "Love Thy Neighbor" thing… I meant it.GodI love you and you and you…

A Jewish father was troubled by the way his son turned out, and went to see his Rabbi about it."I brought him up in the faith, gave him a very expensive bar mitzvah, cost me a fortune to educate him. Then he tells me last week he has decided to be a Christian! Rabbi, where…

Seventy-year-old George went for his annual physical.  All of his tests came back with great results.  Dr. Smith said, “George, everything looks great physically, but how are you doing mentally and emotionally?  Are you at peace with yourself; do you have a good relationship with God?”George replied, "Absolutely.  God and me are tight.  We are…

"Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus?"Well, here's a prime example offered by an English professor at Southern Methodist University, English 44A, SMU, Creative Writing. In-class Assignment for Wednesday:"Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to…

A husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up. But, then the wife stops and says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."The husband asks, "WHAT??" The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a woman. The…