Author: Dr Wingnut

Your potted plants stay alive.Having sex in a twin sized bed is absurd.You keep more food than beer in the fridge.6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.You hear your favorite song on an elevator.You carry an umbrella AND you watch the Weather Channel.Your friends marry and divorce instead of…

I know, I know, its beat up on paco day, but tell me you couldn’t see him doing this, shall I remind you of death of a sperm?READ THIS JOKE ONLY IF YOU HAVE AN IRON STOMACH:A little girl and her mother walking through the park one day and they saw two teenagers having sex…

We all know those cute little computer symbols called "emoticons," Where 🙂 means a smile and 🙁 is a frown. Sometimes these are represented by 🙂 and 🙁 respectively.  Well, how about some "asscons"?Here goes:AssconDescription(_!_)a regular ass(__!__)a fat ass (!)a tight ass(_._)a flat ass(_^_)a bubble ass(_*_)a sore ass(_!__)a lop-sided assFIXMEa swishy ass(_o_)an ass that's been…

Joe woke up one morning and looked for his wife,but his wife wasn't there. She had awakened and was preparing breakfast in the kitchen.  Joe was afraid he might spoil 'the moment' by getting up, so he called his little boy and sent this note to his wife:THE TENT POLE IS UP,THE CANVAS IS SPREAD,THE…

Ol' Fred had been a faithful Christian and was in the hospital, near death. The family called their preacher to stand with them.As the preacher stood next to the bed, Ol' Fred's condition appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something to write on.The pastor lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of…

This guy wakes up one morning to find a gorilla in his tree. He Looks in the phone book for a gorilla removal service until he finds one."Is it a boy or girl Gorilla?" the service guy asks."Boy," is the man's response."Oh yeah, I can do it. I'll be right there", says the service guy.An…

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.I AM in shape. Round's a shape.I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.Did you ever notice when you…