Author: Dr Wingnut

A burglar broke into a house one night.  He shined his flashlight around looking for valuables as he walked through the dark, quiet house.When he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, "Jesus is watching you."The burglar nearly jumped out of his skin.…

Two men are sitting, drinking, at a bar at the top of the Empire State Building when the first man turns to the other and says, "You know, last week I discovered that if you jump from the top of this building, by the time you fall to the 10th floor, the winds around the…

A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party.  She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good…

Your potted plants stay alive.Having sex in a twin sized bed is absurd.You keep more food than beer in the fridge.6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.You hear your favorite song on an elevator.You carry an umbrella AND you watch the Weather Channel.Your friends marry and divorce instead of…

I know, I know, its beat up on paco day, but tell me you couldn’t see him doing this, shall I remind you of death of a sperm?READ THIS JOKE ONLY IF YOU HAVE AN IRON STOMACH:A little girl and her mother walking through the park one day and they saw two teenagers having sex…

We all know those cute little computer symbols called "emoticons," Where 🙂 means a smile and 🙁 is a frown. Sometimes these are represented by 🙂 and 🙁 respectively.  Well, how about some "asscons"?Here goes:AssconDescription(_!_)a regular ass(__!__)a fat ass (!)a tight ass(_._)a flat ass(_^_)a bubble ass(_*_)a sore ass(_!__)a lop-sided assFIXMEa swishy ass(_o_)an ass that's been…

Joe woke up one morning and looked for his wife,but his wife wasn't there. She had awakened and was preparing breakfast in the kitchen.  Joe was afraid he might spoil 'the moment' by getting up, so he called his little boy and sent this note to his wife:THE TENT POLE IS UP,THE CANVAS IS SPREAD,THE…