Author: Dr Wingnut

Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Clinton.  Welcome to E-Z-Bree-Zee Mortgages.  I'm Alan Greenspan.  No, no relation, sorry to say.  May I call you Bill and Hillary?Fine, First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton and Bill it is."So you're planning to settle in Westchester County and want to buy the old Rye Brook place, 4-something acres, as I recall.…

If you receive an email entitled "Badtimes," delete it immediately. Do not open it.  Apparently this one is pretty nasty.It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer.  It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards.  It reprograms…

The first book of the Bible is Guiness, in which Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day and ball of fire by night.The Jews had trouble throughout their history with unsympathetic Genitals.Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of…

A quote during the infamous Watergate scandal from a familiar person… During the Nixon era:"Yes, the president should resign.  He has lied to the American people, time and time again, and betrayed their trust.  He is no longer an effective leader.  Since he has admitted guilt, there is no reason to put the American people…

A burglar broke into a house one night.  He shined his flashlight around looking for valuables as he walked through the dark, quiet house.When he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, "Jesus is watching you."The burglar nearly jumped out of his skin.…

Two men are sitting, drinking, at a bar at the top of the Empire State Building when the first man turns to the other and says, "You know, last week I discovered that if you jump from the top of this building, by the time you fall to the 10th floor, the winds around the…

A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party.  She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good…