Author: Dr Wingnut
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Is it summer yet?
It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in her grades. There is really nothing to do. All the kids are restless because there is nothing to do and it is near the end of the day.The teacher says, "Whoever answers the questions I ask first and correctly can leave…
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Interesting things that you learn about computers in the movies
Any PERMISSION DENIED has an OVERRIDE function.Complex calculations and loading of huge amounts of data will be accomplished in under three seconds. In the movies, modems transmit data at two gigabytes per second.When the power plant/missile site/whatever overheats, all the control panels will explode, as will the entire building.If you display a file on the…
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INSTRUCTIONS FOR MICROSOFT'S NEW TV DINNER PRODUCT
You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing so you agree to accept and honor Microsoft rights to all TV dinners. You may not give anyone else a bite of your dinner (which would constitute an infringement of Microsoft's rights). You may, however, let others smell and look at your dinner and are encouraged…
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If men were to rewrite the rules…
Rule # 1Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.Rule # 2If you don't want to dress like Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.Rule # 3If we say something that can be interpreted in two…
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In the beginning…
Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely. So God asked Adam, "What is wrong with you?" Adam said, "I don't have anyone to talk to."God said, " I will give you a companion, and it will be a woman." God continued, "This woman will cook for you and wash your clothes,…
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If Edgar Allen Poe Had a Computer instead of a Raven. . .
Once upon a midnight dreary, fingers cramped and vision bleary,Systems manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor,Longing for the warmth of bed sheets,Still I sat there doing spreadsheets:Having reached the bottom line, I took a floppy from the drawer.Typing with steady hand, I then invoked the SAVE command,and waited for the disk to…
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If "Dear Abby" Were A Man…
Q: My fiance still has feelings for his old girlfriends. I'm afraid he will not be faithful.A: A man's capacity to love is boundless. It has been proven to increase with the number of sexual partners. Thus, by having a few other women, your partner is really increasing his love for you. Best thing to…