Author: Dr Wingnut
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Late night at the bar
Three men had a very late night drinking Guinness. They left in the early morning hours and went home separately.They met the next day for an early pint, and compared notes about who was drunker the night before.Bill claims that he was the drunkest, saying, "I drove straight home, walked into the house, and as…
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Lawyers
Bob, a lawyer, was driving home over the golden gate bridge after spending a great day out on the ocean fishing. His catch, cleaned and filleted, was wrapped in newspaper on the passenger side floor. He was late getting home and was speeding. *Wouldn't you know, a cop jumped out, radar gun in hand, motioned…
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Klingon Programming
Top 12 things likely to be overheard if you had a Klingon Programmer (Say it like you mean it): "Specifications are for the weak and timid!""This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to do battle with this code!""You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you've read it in…
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Kissing rules
The Lovers of the Heart In order to form a more perfect kiss, enable the mighty hug to promote to whom we please but one kiss.Article 1: Statement of Love — The KissKiss on the hand…. I adore you.Kiss on the cheek… I just want to be friends.Kiss on the neck… I want you.Kiss on…
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Kids on Love
Questions concerning love and wisdom were posed to a group of children (ages 5 to 10). Their responses were amazingly astute and very enlightening, thus proving that all we need to know, we probably learned in kindergarten.WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED?"Eighty-four. Because at that age, you don't have to work anymore, and…
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Ken Starr Chatroom
At the urging of Vice President Al Gore and senior advisor Ira Magaziner, the White House has persuaded Special Prosecutor Ken Starr to conduct the Clinton/Starr testimony in an AOL chat room — grand jury testimony for the twenty-first century.STARRMAN: did you at any time have sxl rltns with ms lewinsky;STARRMAN: ?PREZ179: i never brok…
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From Good to Bad to Worse:
Bad: You can't find your vibrator.Worse: Your daughter "borrowed" it.Bad: You find a porn movie in your son's room.Worse: You're in it.Bad: Your children are sexually active.Worse: With each other.Bad: Your husband's a crossdresser. Worse: He looks better than you.Bad: Your son's involved in Satanism.Worse: As a sacrifice.Bad: Your wife wants a divorce.Worse: She's a…