Author: Dr Wingnut

  • Crazy humor

    Three lunatics approach their Asylum doctor with a request for a weekend pass to the local city."That's impossible says the doctor. You're all nuts. You'll get lost and never come back."But, the lunatics wouldn't relent until finally, exasperated, the doctor says, "OK! If you can answer a simple question I'll sign the pass."He turns to…

  • Toll Call

    It seems a man in Topeka, Kansas, decided to write a book about churches around the country. He started by flying to San Francisco, and started working east from there. He went to a very large church and began taking photographs, etc. He spots a golden telephone on a wall and is intrigued with a…

  • Oil change instructions

    Oil Change instructions for Women:Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last oil change.Drink a cup of coffee.15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.Money spent:$20.00 for oil change$ 1.00 for coffee$21.00 TotalOil Change instructions for Men:Go to auto parts store and write a…

  • Letters to God from kids

    Dear God,Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident?NormaDear God,Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't you just keep the ones you have now?JaneDear God,Who draws the lines around the countries?NanDear God,I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church.…

  • Late night at the bar

    Three men had a very late night drinking Guinness.  They left in the early morning hours and went home separately.They met the next day for an early pint, and compared notes about who was drunker the night before.Bill claims that he was the drunkest, saying, "I drove straight home, walked into the house, and as…

  • Lawyers

    Bob, a lawyer, was driving home over the golden gate bridge after spending a great day out on the ocean fishing.  His catch, cleaned and filleted, was wrapped in newspaper on the passenger side floor.  He was late getting home and was speeding. *Wouldn't you know, a cop jumped out, radar gun in hand, motioned…

  • Klingon Programming

    Top 12 things likely to be overheard if you had a Klingon Programmer (Say it like you mean it): "Specifications are for the weak and timid!""This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to do battle with this code!""You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you've read it in…