Author: Dr Wingnut
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The Shepherd
A shepherd was herding his flocks in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand new Jeep Cherokee advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and a YSL tie leaned out of the window and asked our shepherd: "If I can…
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Children's proverbs
A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. Their insight may surprise you.Better to be safe than……………punch a 5th graderStrike while the…………………Bug is closeIt's always darkest before………..Daylight Savings TimeNever underestimate…
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Presidential Debates
For those who didn't have time to watch the upcoming presidential debates, I've prepared this transcript of what was said:Jim Lehrer:Welcome to the presidential debate between Vice President Al Gore and Gov. George W. Bush. The candidates have agreed on these rules: I will ask a question. The candidate will ignore the question and deliver…
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Begosh and Begorah
An Irish bloke goes to the doctor, "Dactor, it's me ahrse. I'd loik ya ta teyhk a look, if ya woot".So the doctor gets him to drop his pants and takes a look. "Incredible" he says, "there is a $20 note lodged up here"Tentatively he eases the twenty out of the man's bottom, and then…
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Funny Crazy Eights
RulesSingle Deck = 4 peopleDouble Deck = 6 or moreDeal each player 8 cardsTurn one card upNext player plays same suit or same face value. If you can't follow suit, draw a card.Jack is wild. Can play anytime. Can name own suit.Ace = Reverses the play until another Ace is played7 = Next player loses…
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Old Ladies
Three old ladies were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home. About then an old man walked by, and one of the old ladies said, "We bet we can tell how old you are."The old man said, "There ain't no way you can guess my age."One of the old ladies said: "Sure we can.…
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Prayer for friends
Father, I ask you to bless my friends reading this right now. I am asking You to minister to their spirit at this very moment.Where there is pain, give them Your peace and mercy. Where there is self-doubting, release a renewed confidence in Your ability to work through them.Where there is tiredness, or exhaustion, I…