Author: Dr Wingnut
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'Twas the night before Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck….How to live in a world that's politically correct?His workers no longer would answer to "Elves"."Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.And labor conditions at the North PoleWere alleged by the union to stifle the soul.Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,Released to the wilds by the Humane…
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Holiday Diets
I hate this time of year. Not for its crass commercialism and forced frivolity, but because it’s the season when the food police come out with their wagging fingers and annual tips on how to get through the holidays without gaining 10 pounds.You can’t pick up a magazine without finding a list of holiday eating…
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What is a sonofabitch?
Quite often we ask ourselves hard-to-answer questions, like, "What is a sonofabitch?"And we wax philosophic with metaphysical postulations, incomplete aphorisms and inconsistent sophism that make one more and more sure that the only true thing is that a picture is worth a thousand words.In this photo, the guy on the right is a member of…
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How's the Winter going to be?
It was autumn, and the Indians on the remote reservation asked their new Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild.Since he was an Indian Chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets, and when he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the weather was…
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Ah, the holiday season
This is a bit bloodthirsty, but in view of 9/11, I think it is justified:Twas the night before Payback and all through the LandThey're running like rabbits in AfghanistanOsama's been praying, he's down on his KneesHe's hoping that Allah will hear all his Pleas.He thought if he killed us that we'd fall and ShatterBut all…
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Humor
A woman named Shirley was from Beverly Hills. One day, she had a heart attack and was taken to Cedars Sinai hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near-death experience. She saw God and asked, "Is this it?" God said, "No, you have another 30 to 40 years to live."Upon her recovery, she…
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What a Real Error Message Looks Like…
If you are going to hit an error on the internet, why not make it a good one?No intelligencevia eMail, Tuesday, November 20, 2001 4:18 AM