And then the fight started

My wife sat down on the seat next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, “What’s on TV?”

I said, “Dust.”

And then the fight started.

My wife and I were watching “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” while we were in bed.  I turned to her and said, “Do you want to have sex?”

“No,” she answered.

I then said, “Is that your final answer?”

She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying, “Yes.”

So I said, “Then I’d like to phone a friend.”

And then the fight started.

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.  The wind was blowing fifty miles per hour, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.  I cuddled up to my wire’s back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, “The weather out there is terrible.”

My loving wife of five years replied, “Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?”

And then the fight started.

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, “I want something shiny that goes from zero to one-hundred fifty in about three seconds.”

I bought her a bathroom scale.

And then the fight started.

A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.  She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband.  “I feel horrible; I look old, fat, and ugly.  I really need you to pay me a compliment.”

The husband replied, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”

And then the fight started.