Again With the Merrimac, Massachusetts Municipal Power and Light Authority

The tropics have reeked havoc this hurricane season and screwed up our fall weather patterns in New England.  We have had the warmest September in history and, the wettest.

This past week, we have been deeply ensconced in a low pressure weather pattern that seems to effect more than the growth cycle of the weeds in my lawn.  It seems to have an overall depressive effect on the people around me.

It aggravates my neighbor Rhoda’s rheumatism which, consequently, aggravates my neighbor Rhoda.  It is my humble opinion that my neighbor Rhoda needs no additional aggravating.

Now, we are facing another weekend of low pressure and rain.  This is because we are at the end of our hurricane names with Wilma.  We now have to start with the Greek alphabet: Alpha, Beta, Gamma, Delta, Ramah, Llama, Ding-dong, etc.

This will keep our low pressure attitude exaggerated for the remainder of the Greek Alphabetic season.

There is one up-side I have noticed.  As my Low Pressure Blues grew, so did my luck quotient.

The more it stayed gray, to more luck I had.

First, at Shalane’s wedding I found a ten dollar bill on the walkway of the motel.  Then on Saturday night, I found 3 pennies in a mud puddle in Cambridge, Mass.

Two days later, I found a quarter in the parking space I chose at the Stop & Shop Supermarket.

This streak of luck was bringing me dangerously close to POWER BALL Wednesday! This is a multi-state lottery and the jackpot was $132 million dollars!

My lucky streak was still running stronger than ever.

I had a premonition. Well sort of a hunch, kind of thing, that something LUCKY was about to happen to me on Wednesday. And, the huge Power Ball drawing was that same day!

I drove to the nearest Power Ball ticket agent, which happened to be in New Hampshire, and bought 5 (count ’em, FIVE) winning numbers.

When I arrived home, I hid the winning tickets in a secret place. (If I told you where, it wouldn’t be secret, now would it!) And I waited until Wednesday.

The lucky feeling was growing stronger and I was up most of the night.

Wednesday morning came and I was having coffee with Cherrie when the phone rang.

No one calls us.  Who could it be?

Cherrie answered.

It was the Merrimac, Massachusetts Municipal Power and Light Authority.

Last week was National Electric Power Week and when I paid my bill, not only did they give me an electrical outlet insulation kit and a rubber thingy emblazed with the MMP&LA logo which helps me open jar lids without power assistance, but it seems they entered me into a drawing to get $25.00 off next month’s electric bill.

They called to say I had won the coupon!

“NOOOOO!” I screamed much too loudly. “Not the coupon!  You owe me $132,000,000.00!”

The Merrimac, Massachusetts Municipal Power and Light Authority usurped my luck right out from under my nose!

My wife dropped the phone.  The clerk transferred the call to her immediate supervisor (there are only 3 people who run the Merrimac, Massachusetts Municipal Power and Light Authority), and I was assured that I could redeem the prize when my next bill is due.

“You owe me 500,000 years of free power!”  I believe was my response.  I was so close.  The convergence of my sun sign and the God Vishnu had come and gone and all I got was the ability to toast an English muffin at a discounted rate.

The low pressure system continues.  My luck valve has been released.  But, the pressure on Rhoda continues.

However, the rain is bringing a smile to the Merrimac, Massachusetts Municipal Water and Well Authority. This is also ably managed by the same three women at the same little office in Upper Main Street. (You can tell Upper Main street from Lower Main street by the little hill in front of the Merrimac, Massachusetts Municipal Fire and Public Safety Department Office.  I guess that makes this office on Middle Main St.)