How’s your market cap?

God forbid David Letterman should have another heart attack.  But if he does, maybe Sun Microsystems CEO Scott McNealy could stand in for him.

Speaking earlier this week to a group of investors at the Merrill Lynch computer technology conference in New York, McNealy killed with his Lettermanesque “Top 10 Signs a Company’s Market Cap Is Inflated.” Here it is, courtesy of Reuters:

10. They have an ‘E’ or an ‘I’ or a ‘dot com’ as part of their name.

9. Employees’ pagers can only receive stock prices.

8. The initial vesting period closed yesterday, and today the office is empty.

7. There are more dogs and cats in their offices than employees.

6. Employees are heard saying, “Profits are so yesterday.”

5. The accounts-receivable sign hangs over a toilet.

4. The value of cars in the parking lot exceeds the company’s revenue by a factor of four.

3. The investor-relations department reports to marketing.

2. Zero revenues but enough cash to purchase Iceland.

1. Employees ask, “Hey, dude, what does the P in P&L stand for?”