Dr Wingnut

Month: October 2008

  • Attention passengers

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    Attention passengers.  Have your ticket out so you can be inspected and accepted, or rejected and ejected.  Also, there is no smoking or urinating inside, outside, between, under, above, or around the train.  Do not stick any appendages out the windows, or you will lose them.Conductor, Grand Central, Overheard in New York

  • Quirky definitions

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    A BankA place where they lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.DentistA person who extracts both your teeth and your money.JuryIt consists of 12 people chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.PessimistAn optimist with experience.CityA large community where people are lonesome together.FriendshipA ship big enough to carry two in…

  • Commercial break

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    Today during Sunday Morning on CBS channel WCCO in Minneapolis/Saint Paul they played a “Political advertising break.”  It featured a toddler sitting in a high chair playing with a bowl of spaghetti noodles and giggling.  A timer counted up to 30 seconds, then it was back to the mayhem.

  • Wonder how he knows…

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    The only difference between a beauty contestant and an inflatable doll is where you blow into them.Male Lawyer, Supreme Court, Jamaica Overheard in New York

  • This will lift your spirits

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    WomenThey smile when they want to scream.They sing when they want to cry.They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous.They fight for what they believe in.They stand up for injustice.They don’t take “no” for an answer when they believe there is a better solution.They go without new shoes so their children…

  • Quality occupations

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    Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living.Jean Kerr

  • Grandma Beats Up Airport Security Guards

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    Charges were dropped yesterday against Ruth “Grammy” Gordon, an 83-year-old wheelchair-bound grandmother, who was originally charged with assault and battery, and assault with a deadly weapon, because an altercation she had last week with six airport security guards, that left all six hospitalized.  “Justice has been served,” said the 95-pound mother of three and grandmother…