Dr Wingnut

Month: January 2005

  • The answer to your prayers?

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    Dr Wingnut
    in

    Female prayer:Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man, who’s not a creep,One who’s handsome, smart & strong,One who loves to listen long,One who thinks before he speaks,One who’ll call, not wait for weeks,I pray he’s gainfully employed,When I spend his cash, won’t be annoyed.Pulls out my chair & opens my…

  • Redundant

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.Edward Shepherd Mead

  • Spelling checker

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    Dr Wingnut
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    I halve a spelling checker,It came with my pea see.It plainly marks four my revueMistakes I dew knot sea.Eye strike a key and type a wordAnd weight four it two sayWeather eye am wrong oar writeIt shows me strait aweigh.As soon as a mist ache is maidIt nose bee fore two longAnd eye can put…

  • Time

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Day is short as ever; times as long as it has been.Geechee Proberb

  • Yankee judge at a Chili Cookoff

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Frank from Boston explains: “Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off.  The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table asking for directions to the Budweiser truck, when the call came in.  I was assured by…

  • In charge?

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Who’s in charge of Microsoft, anyway?TV personality Conan O’Brien, ad libbing during Bill Gates’ keynote at the International Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas last week (Jan 3-7, 2005), after a computer froze during one of Gates’ demonstrations

  • You know you are a true New Englander when:

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    Dr Wingnut
    in

    “Vacation” means going South past New York City for the weekend.You measure distance in hours.You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.You often switch from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day and back again.You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.You see…