Month: January 2005
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Great System
There are more churches in Las Vegas than Casinos.During Sunday services at the Offertory, some worshipers contribute Casino Chips as opposed to cash.Some are sharing their winnings – some are hoping to win. Since there are so many Casinos, the Catholic churches send all the chips into the diocese for sorting.Once sorted for the respective…
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There will be no nursing home in my future…
When I get old and feeble, I am going to get on a Princess Cruise Ship. The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day. I have checked on reservations at Princess and I can get a long term discount and senior discount price of $135 per day. That leaves $65 a day…
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Sleep
Sleep. The most beautiful experience in life — except drink.W. C. Fields as Cutberth J. Twillie in My Little Chickadee.
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Talent
Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see.Arthur Schopenhauer
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When you’re drunk…
Things that are difficult to say when you’re drunk…InnovativePreliminaryProliferationCinnamon Things that are very difficult to say when you’re drunk…SpecificityBritish ConstitutionPassive-aggressive disorderTransubstantiateThings that are downright impossible to say when you’re drunk…Thanks, but I don’t want to sleep with you.Nope, no more drinks for me, I’ve reached my limit.Sorry, but you’re not really my type.Please take the…
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Letter to the President…
Dear President Bush:Congratulations on your victory over all us non-evangelicals.Actually, we’re a bit ticked off here in California, so we’re leaving. California will now be its own country. And we’re taking all the Blue States with us. In case you are not aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, and all of…