Dr Wingnut

Month: November 2004

  • Kids in grade school think fast…

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Teacher: Why are you late?Webster: Because of the sign. Teacher: What sign?Webster: The one that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow.” Teacher: Cindy, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?Cindy: You told me to do it without using tables!Teacher: John, how do you spell “crocodile?”John: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L”Teacher: No, that’s wrong.John: Maybe it’s wrong, but…

  • Ten Commandments: Minnesota style

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Der’s only one God, ya know.Don’t make that fish on your mantle an idol.Cussing ain’t Minnesota nice.Go to church even when you’re up north.Honor your folks.Don’t kill.  Catch and release.There is only one Lena for every Ole.  No cheatin’.If it ain’t your lutefisk, don’t take it.Don’t be braggin’ about how much snow ya shoveled.Keep your…

  • Perfectionism

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Part of the ego reduction necessary to our recovery is the acceptance of the fact that we are not and never will be perfect.  Perfectionism gets in the way of recovery because it imposes impossible, unrealistic goals which guarantee failure.  If we do not think we have to be perfect, then we can accept our…

  • Control

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Don’t try to force anything.  Let life be a deep let-go.  See God opening millions of flowers every day without forcing the buds.Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh

  • Fear

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    Dr Wingnut
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    F.E.A.R. = Frustration, Ego, Anxiety and Resentment.AnonymousAlso heard that it stood for: False Evidence Appearing Real

  • A 20-Day Quick-Growth Plan

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Any misery or any practice of an addiction is self-destructive.  The only insane reason that anyone would do anything destructive to his or her body, knowing that it is harmful, is if that person is experiencing self-hatred.  Self-hatred can exist on a subconscious level, but it is obviously there for any objective observer to witness…

  • Funnies

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    Dr Wingnut
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    I was in the express lane at the store quietly fuming.  Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries.  Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward looked into the cart and asked sweetly, “So which six…