Month: September 2004

One Monday morning a mailman is walking the neighborhood on his usual route.  As he approaches one of the homes he notices that both cars are in the driveway.  His wonder is cut short by Bob the homeowner coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles.“Wow Bob, looks like you guys had…

Sometimes…when you cry…no one sees your tears.Sometimes…when you are in pain…no one sees your hurt.Sometimes…when you are worried…no one sees your stress.Sometimes…when you are happy…no one sees your smile.But FART! just ONE time… And everybody knows!Gotcha!  And you thought this was going to be one of those heart-touching stories!  Didn’t you!via email from Duane McD,…

Fifteen things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parent is taking their own sweet time:Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly place them in people’s carts while they aren’t looking.Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.Walk up…

10. “My brakes are shot, so when you get to your block just jump out”9. “Why so shy, cowboy? Plenty of room up here”8. “There’s something wrong with the exhaust, so try not to breathe”7. “Watch this guy’s expression when I ram into his car”6. “Damn, without my glasses I’m blind as a bat”5. “Lemme…

Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, “You know, I don’t know what else to do.  Whenever I go home after we’ve been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway.  I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. …

All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight “safety lecture” and announcements a bit more entertaining.  Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: On a Southwest flight (SW has no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when…