Dr Wingnut

Month: December 2001

  • Unemployment

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Sven and Ole worked together and both were laid off, so they went to the unemployment office. Asked his occupation, Ole said, "Panty stitcher. I sew the elastic onto ladies cotton panties."The clerk looked up panty stitcher. Finding it classified as unskilled labor, she gave him $300 a week unemployment pay.Sven was asked his occupation.…

  • Christmas Party

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    Dr Wingnut
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    December 1st TO: ALL EMPLOYEESI'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots of spiked eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols … feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if I show up dressed as…

  • Moscow in Winter

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    Dr Wingnut
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    A Russian couple were walking down the street in Moscow one night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose."I think it's raining," he said to his wife."No, that felt more like snow to me," she replied."No, I'm sure it was just rain" he said.Well, as these things go, they were about to have…

  • 'Twas the night before Christmas

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    Dr Wingnut
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    'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck….How to live in a world that's politically correct?His workers no longer would answer to "Elves"."Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.And labor conditions at the North PoleWere alleged by the union to stifle the soul.Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,Released to the wilds by the Humane…

  • Holiday Diets

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    Dr Wingnut
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    I hate this time of year.  Not for its crass commercialism and forced frivolity, but because it’s the season when the food police come out with their wagging fingers and annual tips on how to get through the holidays without gaining 10 pounds.You can’t pick up a magazine without finding a list of holiday eating…

  • What is a sonofabitch?

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Quite often we ask ourselves hard-to-answer questions, like, "What is a sonofabitch?"And we wax philosophic with metaphysical postulations, incomplete aphorisms and inconsistent sophism that make one more and more sure that the only true thing is that a picture is worth a thousand words.In this photo, the guy on the right is a member of…