Dr Wingnut

Month: October 2001

  • Terrorists in the building

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    Dr Wingnut
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    We have been notified by Building Security that there have been 4 suspected terrorists working at our office. Three of the four have been apprehended. Bin Sleepin, Bin Loafin, and Bin Drinkin have been taken into custody. Security advised us they could find no one fitting the description of the fourth cell member, Bin Workin,…

  • Why the flag is folded the way it is and what it means

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    Dr Wingnut
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    In the coming weeks, we will visit through TV and news reports the funerals of many people. In those clips, we will see the folding of our flag over the caskets of many victims of last week. When you see this, I want you to remember something very special. Those whose bodies are laid to…

  • Debunking the "11" E-mail

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Original letter:The date of the attack: 9/11 – 9 + 1 + 1 = 11September 11th is the 254th day of the year: 2 + 5 + 4 = 11 AfterSeptember 11th there are 111 days left to the end of the year.119 is the area code to Iraq/Iran. 1 + 1 + 9 =…

  • One more Osama joke

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Osama Bin Laden phoned President George W. Bush."I had a dream about the United States," he said. "I could see the whole country, and over every building and home was a banner," says bin Laden."What was on these banners?" asks Mr. Bush."LONG LIVE OSAMA!" answered the terrorist."I'm so glad that you called," says President Bush,…

  • Sentencing Bin Laden

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    Dr Wingnut
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    A friend of mine sent me this delicious suggestion for how to obtain justice once we get our hands on Bin Ladin:What to do with Osama bin Laden?Killing him will only create a martyr. Holding him prisoner will inspire his comrades to take hostages to demand his release.Therefore, I suggest we do neither.Let the Special…

  • Plan to End Global Terrorism

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Take all American women who are +/-5 years of menopause. Train us for a few weeks, outfit us with automatic weapons, grenades, gas masks, prozac, hormones, SPAM, etc. Drop us (parachuted, preferably) across the landscape of Afghanistan, and let us do what comes naturally.Think about it. Our anger quotient alone, even when doing standard stuff…

  • An Ode to America

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Why are Americans so united? They don't resemble one another even if you paint them! They speak all the languages of the world and form an astonishing mixture of civilizations. Some of them are nearly extinct, others are incompatible with one another, and in matters of religious beliefs, not even God can count how many…