Month: December 2000

  • The Dime

    Bobby was getting cold sitting out in his back yard in the snow. Bobby didn't wear boots; he didn't like them and anyway he didn't own any. The thin sneakers he wore had a few holes in them and they did a poor job of keeping out the cold.Bobby had been in his backyard for…

  • Wisdom

    "I read somewhere that 77 percent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 percent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves."Jerry Garcia (Grateful Dead)"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad…

  • !!! Bread is Dangerous !!!

    I've done a little research, and what I've discovered should make anyone think twice….More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy…

  • Schlag Byte, December 4, 2000, "Ralph Nader"

    I had addressed the Community Hospice of upstate New York and was departing the Albany airport to go to Washington D.C. As I slowly scrunch into my emergency aisle seat, I see Ralph Nader walking down to take the seat directly opposite me. This is the second week after the election and Ralph is a…

  • Reviewing the Civil War

    I just heard breaking news that CNN is revisiting the outcome of the American Civil War. It appears that it was too close to call and the South may still have a chance.Documents were found that support the fact that some people joined the wrong side; apparently they weren't aware that their states were part…

  • Circle Flies

    A farmer got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding, and the trooper started to lecture the farmer about his speed, and in general began to throw his weight around to try to make the farmer uncomfortable.Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket, and as he was doing that he kept…

  • Pastoral Visit

    A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his parishioners. All went well until he came to one house. It was obvious that someone was home, but no one came to the door even after he had knocked several times. Finally, he took out his card, wrote on the back…