Month: August 2000
-
Where is God?!
A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that, if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons were probably involved.They boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if…
-
Where did the Van Gogh?
Vincent VanGogh had many relatives. Among them were:His obnoxious brother… Please GoghHis dizzy aunt… Verti GoghThe brother who loved prunes… Gotta GoghThe brother who worked at a convenience store… Stop 'N GoghThe grandfather from Yugoslavia… U. GoghThe cousin from Illinois… Chica GoghHis magician uncle… Where Diddy GoghHis Spanish cousin… Ahmee GoghThe Spanish cousin's American half…
-
When Dogs Go And Cross Breed…
Pointer + Setter = Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas petKerry Blue Terrier + Skye Terrier = Blue Skye, a dog for visionariesGreat Pyrenees + Dachshund = Pyradachs, a puzzling breedPekingnese + Lhasa Apso = Peekasso, an abstract dogIrish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel = Irish Springer, a dog fresh and clean as a whistle Labrador…
-
What's the problem officer?
A guy and his wife were speeding down the interstate when a state cop pulls him over. The man says "whats the problem officer?"Officer: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.Man: No sir, I was going 65.Wife: Oh Harry, you were going 80.Man gives his wife a dirty look.Officer: I will also…
-
What is a cat?
Cats do what they want.They rarely listen to you.They're totally unpredictable.They whine when they are not happy.When you want to play, they want to be alone.When you want to be alone, they want to play.They expect you to cater to their every whim.They're moody.They leave hair everywhere.They drive you nuts and cost an arm and…
-
What if Dr. Seuss Wrote Computer Technical Manuals?
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,And the bus is interrupted (as a very last resort)And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abortThe socket packet pocket has an error to report.If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dashAnd the double clicking icons put your…
-
What Bill meant…
"Members of Congress… people of America… I banged her. I banged her like a cheap gong. Which is not news, folks, because if you think Monica Lewinsky was the only skin flute player in my orchestra, you haven't been paying attention. The only babes in D.C. I HAVEN'T tried to do are the First Lady,…