Month: August 2000

You know what a "burnout" is.You know what "Sike" means.You know the profound meaning of "Wax on, Wax off".You know that another name for a keyboard is a"Synthesizer".You wanted to be a Goonie.You know who Max Headroom is.You ever wore flourescent, neon if you will, clothing.You could breakdance, or wish you could.You wanted to be…

January 1, 2000Re: Vacation PayDear Valued Employee:Our records indicate that you have not used any vacation time over the past 100 year(s).  As I'm sure you are aware, employees are granted 3 weeks of paid leave per year or pay in lieu of time off.  One additional week is granted for every 5 years of…

In prison you spend the majority of your time in an 8'x10' cell.At work you spend most of your time in a 6'x8'cubicle.In prison you get three meals a day.At work you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it.In prison you get time off for good behavior.At work…

From the Sunday, April 14, 1994 edition of the "Washington Post".  A contest was held in which readers were asked to come up with excuses to miss a day of work.If it is all the same to you, I won't be coming in to work.  The voices told me to clean all the guns today.When…

Never do housework.  No man ever made love to a woman because the house was spotless.Remember you are known by the idiot you accompany.Don't imagine you can change a man – unless he's in diapers.What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.So many men – so many reasons not to…

On Friday the 24th I was watching the NASA channel on cable TV to see how the experiments and Shuttle crew were doing.  The men onboard needed to send instructions to the experiments in the cargo bay and were using a laptop to do it.  As some of you may have heard, there was a…

After carefully evaluating the government's suit against them, Microsoft decided to release Windows 98 anyway, after adding these 11th-hour tweaks:Included subliminal "Impeach Janet Reno" messages in start-up screen.New Internet Explorer feature: whenever you visit a Web site ending in ".gov," a message first appears reminding you that Microsoft is not a monopoly.Source code no longer…