Month: August 2000

  • Ten blondes and a brunette

    Eleven people were clinging precariously to a wildly swinging rope suspended from a crumbling outcropping on Mount Everest.  Ten were blonde, one was a brunette.As a group they decided that one of the party should let go.  If that didn't happen the rope would break and everyone would perish.  For an agonizing few moments no…

  • Glossary of Computer Terms

    Defined Minnesota styleLog OnMaking da vood stove hotter.Log OffDon't add vood. MonitorKeep and eye on da vood stove. MegahertzWhen a big log drops on your barefoot in da morning.Floppy DiskVhat you get from piling too much wood. RamDa hydraulic thing dat makes da voodsplitter vork. DriveGetting home most of da vinter. PromptVhat ya vish da…

  • Technical support tips

    In the interests of providing a better service, your friendly Tech Support department has the following tips:When your computer crashes or something doesn't work, don't write anything down. We can play back the error messages from here.When a tech says he's coming right over, go for coffee. It's nothing to us to remember 481 screen…

  • TECHNICAL SUPPORT HOTLINE

    Boss: "You submitted the lowest bid to run our new technical support hotline, Mister Dogbert.  The other bidders would love to know how you plan to handle twelve thousand calls a day by yourself."Dogbert: "Tell them to call me."Scott AdamsNETWORK CONFUSIONMy husband works for a company which provides on-line services.  A caller to the tech…

  • Tech Support – Word Perfect

    This is a true story from the WordPerfect helpline.  Needless to say the helpdesk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for" Termination without Cause".Actual dialog of a former Wordperfect Customer Support employee:"Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?""Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.""What sort of trouble?""Well, I was…

  • Sweeping Up

    A young man, hired by a supermarket, reported for his first day of work.  The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store.""But I'm a college graduate." the young man replied indignantly."Oh, I'm sorry.  I didn't know…

  • Summer Lovin'

    … Sing the song below to the tune of "Summer Lovin'" from the musical "Grease".Bill:"Summer intern, had me a blast"Monica:"White house intern, happened so fast"Bill:"Met a girl, crazy for me"Monica:"Met the prez, down on my knees"Bill:"Summer days, sucking away, oh, but those summer nights"Investigation Committee:"Well, ah.. well, ah….well, ah. uhTell us more, tell us more"Linda…