Dr Wingnut

Month: August 2000

  • The Masturbata

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Adam Sandler's version of Macarana, "The Masturbata" (sung to tune of the Macarana) by Adam SandlerSitting in my house, and I know that I'm alona,Feeling kinda horny, got a jingle in my bona.Go and grab a Penthouse it's the one with Sharon StonaHey Masturbata!!I go a little faster and its feeling kind of nicea,Once ain't…

  • The many uses of Bounce:

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    Dr Wingnut
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    It takes the odor out of books and photo albums that don't get opened too often.Repel mosquitoes.  Tie a sheet of Bounce through a belt loop when outdoors during mosquito season.Eliminate static electricity from your television screen.  Since Bounce is designed to help eliminate static cling, wipe your television screen with a used sheet of…

  • THE LITTLE OLD LADY AND THE BET

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    Dr Wingnut
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    A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day, carrying a bag of money.  She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, "It's a lot of money!"  After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the president's office…

  • THE GREAT GAS OUT

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    Dr Wingnut
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    It's time we did something about the price of gasoline in America!  We are all sick and tired of high prices when there are literally millions of gallons in storage.  Know what I found out?  If there was just ONE day when no one purchased any gasoline, prices would drop drastically.The so-called oil cartel has…

  • The Father's Eyes

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    Dr Wingnut
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    This teenager lived alone with his father, and the two of them had a very special relationship.  Even though the son was always on the bench, his father was always in the stands cheering. He never missed a game.  This young man was still the smallest of the class when he entered high school.  But…

  • The Egg…

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    Dr Wingnut
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    If you think life is bad… How would you like to be an egg?You only get laid once.You only get eaten once.It takes 4 minutes to get hard.Only 2 minutes to get soft.You share your box with 11 other guys.But worst of all, the only chick that ever saton your face was your mother.So cheer…

  • The Drunken Physician

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    Dr Wingnut
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    The patient was lying in bed, still groggy from the effects of the recent operation. His doctor came in, looking very glum."I can't be sure what's wrong with you," the doctor said.  "I think it's the drinking.""Okay," the patient said.  "Can we get an opinion from a doctor who's sober?"