Month: February 2000
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Rose
Red roses were herfavorites, her name was also Rose. And every year her husband sent them,tied with pretty bows. The year he died, the roses were delivered to herdoor. The card said, "Be my Valentine", like all the years before. Eachyear he sent her roses, and the note would always say, "I love you evenmore…
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Redneck jokes
Did you hear about the South Carolina redneck who passed away and left his entire estate in trust for his beloved widow?She can't touch it till she's fourteen.What's the most popular pickup line in Alabama?Nice tooth!Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911.The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away.…
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Becoming A Real Man
That's right, in just six trimesters, you too, can be a real man-as well as earn an MA degree (Male Arts). Please take a moment to look over the program outline.YearTrimesterCourseDescriptionFirstAutumnMEN 101Combating StupidityMEN 102You, Too, Can Do HouseworkMEN 103PMS-Learn When to Keep Your Mouth ShutMEN 104We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings for ChristmasWinterMEN 110Wonderful Laundry…
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The Three Corporate Lessons:
Lesson Number One:A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a…
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Special phrases of academia
The following list of phrases and their definitions might help you understand the mysterious language of science and medicine. These special phrases are also applicable to anyone reading a PhD dissertation or academic paper."It has long been known"… I didn't look up the original reference."A definite trend is evident"… These data are practically meaningless."While it…
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FAVORITE ANSWERS FROM "HOLLYWOOD SQUARES"
According to Movie Life magazine, Ann Margaret would like to start having babies, soon, but her husband wants her to wait awhile. Why?PAUL LYNDE: He's out of town.What are "dual-purpose cattle" good for that other cattle aren't?PAUL LYNDE: They give milk…and cookies, but I don't recommend the cookies.Who stays pregnant for a longer period of…
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Humor
New Words to an old Dylan Song:How many roads must a man drive downBefore he admits he is lostWhy when a man becomes married is heunable to find his own socks.How many times will it take 'til he knowshe has seen the three stooges enoughThe answer my friend, I cannot comprehendThe answer, I cannot comprehendHow…