Month: January 2000

  • For Republicans only

    On July 8, 1947, witnesses claim a spaceship with 5 aliens crashed on a sheep and cattle ranch outside of Roswell, New Mexico—an incident, it is believed by many, which was covered-up by the government.On March 31, 1948—9 months to the day, Al Gore was born.Coincidence?via eMail, Fri, 7 Jan 2000 19:27:26 -0600

  • News Flash

    Veteran Pillsbury spokesman, The Pillsbury Doughboy, died yesterday of severe yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes to the belly.  He was 71.Doughboy was buried in a slightly greased coffin.  Dozens of celebrities turned out, including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, Captain Crunch, and many more.The graveside was…

  • Famous last words

    "Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons."Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943"I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that…

  • Humor

    Dad: Son, come in here, we need to talk.Son: What's up, Dad?Dad: There's a scratch down the side of the car. Did you do it?Son: I don't believe, if I understand the definition of "scratch the car," that I can say, truthfully, that I scratched the car.Dad: Well, it wasn't there yesterday, and you drove…

  • Wisdom on a restroom wall

    From a bathroom stall (excuse me, a “loo”) in London: I’m into S&M, bestiality, and necrophilia, or am I just beating a dead horse?via eMail, Sun, 2 Jan 2000 17:56:43 -0600