Dr Wingnut

Month: January 2000

  • Language barrier?

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    Dr Wingnut
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    An Italian, a Scotsman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site.The foreman points out a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping."To the Scotsman he says, "You're in charge of shoveling."And to the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies."He then says, "Now, I…

  • What if God had voice mail?

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    Dr Wingnut
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    We have all learned to live with voice mail as a necessarypart of modern life.  But you may have wondered: what if God decided to install voice mailImagine praying and hearing …“Thank you for calling The Lord’s House.  Please select from the following options:Press 1 for GENERAL REQUESTSPress 2 for THANKSGIVINGPress 3 for COMPLAINTSPress 4…

  • Achieving Balance in Life.

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some fiveballs in the air. You name them – Work – Family – Health – Friends -Spirit, and you're keeping all of these in the air. You will soonunderstand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounceback. But the other…

  • The smartest man in the world

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    Dr Wingnut
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    A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble. In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down.Finally the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had…

  • Meal tome?

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    Dr Wingnut
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    A woman asks her husband if he'd like some breakfast. "Would you like bacon and eggs, perhaps? A slice of toast? Grapefruit and coffee to follow?" she asks.He declines. "It's this Viagra," he says, "It's really taken the edge off my appetite."At lunchtime, she asks if he would like something. "A bowl of homemade soup,…

  • A visit to the Doctor

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    Dr Wingnut
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    A lady goes to the doctor and complains her husband is losing interest in sex. He gives her a pill but warns her it is still experimental. He tells her to slip it in his mashed potatoes at dinner and she does.About a week later she's back at the doctor and says, "The pill worked…

  • Some Thought on Exercise

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    Dr Wingnut
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    My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now & we don't know where the hell she is.The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. I haven't lost a pound;…