Now, everyone say it with me …

"I will NOT get bad luck, lose my friends, or lose my mailing lists if I DON’T forward an e-mail. I will NOT hear any music, see a taco dog, or see a cool pop up screen if I DO forward an e-mail.

Bill Gates is NOT going to send me money, Victoria’s Secret doesn’t know anything about a gift certificate they’re supposed to send me and Ford will not give me a 50% discount even if I have forwarded my e-mail to more than 50 people.

I will NEVER receive gift certificates, coupons, or freebies from Coke Cola, Cracker Barrel, Old Navy, or anyone else if I send an e-mail to 10 people who don’t know who I am anyway.

I will NEVER see a pop up window if I forward an e-mail … NEVER!!!! My phone will not MYSTERIOUSLY ring after I forward an e-mail.

There is NO SUCH THING as an e-mail tracking program, and I am not STUPID enough to think that someone will send me $100 for forwarding an e-mail to 10 or more people.

The government does not have a bill in congress called 901B (or whatever they named it this week) that if passed will enable them to charge us 5 cents for every sent e-mail.

There will be NO cool dancing, singing, waving, colorful flower, character, or program I will receive immediately after I forward an e-mail.

The American Red Cross will NOT donate 50 cents to a certain individual dying of some never heard of before disease for every e-mail address I send this to. The American Red Cross RECEIVES donations, they don’t MAKE donations!

And finally, I WILL NOT let others guilt me into sending things on to my friends for fear they will think I am not their friend … ! or by telling me I have no conscience or don’t believe in God!!

If God wants to send me a message, I believe the bushes in my yard will burn before He picks up a PC to pass it along … but even if it does come by e-mail, HE will send me one at which point I’m SURE I will know it will be from HIM. AND if He does, I’m sure He will care enough to delete all those annoying forwards inside it!

Now, repeat this 4 times to yourself until you’ve memorized it and then send it along to at least 5 of your friends before the next full moon or you will surely be constipated for the next 3 months and all of your hair will fall out!!!!!