- No one is listening until you fart.
- Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
- Don’t worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
- We are born naked, wet and hungry and get slapped on our butt. Then things get worse.
- Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
- There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday…around age eleven.
- Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
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